Arthur's deepest secret
by Cynth19
Summary: Wriiten for mxa community fanfic challenge 2, pic #11. Arthur has a secret too. Angst, chracter's death, Slash


He was walking towards the door when…

"Arthur."

He turned back to Merlin who said in a soft voice.

"Thank you."

For a second he stopped breathing.

There was no need for him to thank him. He had saved his life in the first place after all.

The prince replied:

"You too. Get some rest."

He walked out the room and headed back to his chambers. Along the way, he felt a strange sensation. It was warm and reassuring. He smiled to himself.

Merlin was alright.

He entered his room and closed the door behind him. As he walked towards the bed he felt a tinge of sadness that he could not quite explain. He sat on the edge and opened his fist slowly.

There it was, the little yellow flower that looked so innocent and yet its petals could have caused Merlin's death.

Arthur did not really know why he had taken what was left of the flower from Gaius's table. Why this meant so much to him was a mystery. But he couldn't bring himself to throw it away. The prince stood and walked towards his wardrobe. He rummaged a bit through old belongings until he finally found what he was looking for. He extracted the little wooden casket from under a pile of old fabric that, according to Gaius had once belonged to his mother. He took the casket back with him to the bed then took the smallest key from his set and opened it.

It was empty. Arthur had received it from one of the visiting nobles a long time ago. The young princess who had given it to him had said:

"This will protect your deepest secrets."

He remembered how he had laughed at that. As if he had needed a stupid box to protect his secrets. After a few days, the casket had been put in his wardrobe and had remained there, forgotten with time, until today.

Arthur did not know why he was now drawn to the box. He had remembered its existence as soon as he had seen the remains of the flowers on the wooden table in Gaius's workroom. And now, it felt so natural to place it inside the casket.

Merlin had almost died today. Arthur had never felt this way before. It was all new to him. The young man had become so important to him in such a short among of time. Arthur did not understand what it meant but did not want to question it either.

After a few moments staring at the flower, the prince finally closed the casket and locked it before putting it under his bed.

Maybe, that princess had been right after all. It would protect his deepest secret: his fear of losing Merlin and how much the young man meant to him.

* * *

Years later…

_The battle had been won but at what cost…_

_Merlin walked in the Court Yard alone. His clothes were covered in blood, his blood._

_Mordred and his army had been defeated but Camelot had also lost… Four of their best knights had fallen and the Kingdom was without King..._

Everything was happening so fast. Merlin was busy trying to contain both Morgana and Morgause but the fight had been long and both sides were slowly getting tired. All the other knights had been fighting alongside their King, but in the end Arthur was left alone facing his greatest enemy. Who would have thought all these years ago that the little boy they had saved would be the cause of his downfall? Merlin had known at the time but had hoped it had not been true, that somehow he would have been able to stop it from happening.

How wrong he had been.

He was trying to block one of Morgause's attack when he heard him scream in pain. The warlock immediately turned to his King, but it was already too late. The blond man was lying on the floor motionless. Merlin forgot about the fight with the witches and ran towards his friend.

"Arthur!"

He knelt next to him and tried his best to evaluate the wound through his sudden tears.

"Now you're finally kneeling for me Merlin." Arthur said in a weak voice, blood was already coming out of his mouth.

Merlin smiled a bit as he remembered the words the Prince had said to him the first time they had met.

"Shut up you prat, you need to save your strengths."

"We both know it's over Merlin." He said, sadness in his voice.

Merlin refused to accept it, there had to be a way.

"I should have been there to save you." He said feeling guilt mixed with despair as he was watching the most important man he's ever known dying.

"No, Merlin. Not this time." Arthur winced in pain but did his best to ignore it. "I'm sorry Merlin."

"What are you talking about, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Yes, I do."

Merlin waited in silence to hear his King's last words to him.

"I should have told you about it but…."

Slowly, the light in the once so blue eyes started to fade.

"Arthur?" he shook him lightly. "What is it you wanted to say? Please Arthur tell me."

But the King remained silent.

Merlin then realized that this was it. It was really over. He had faced this sort of situation so many times before, seeing Arthur on the brink of death but this time there was no coming back from it. He was gone.

Merlin took him in his trembling arms and held tight not wanting to let go, ever.

Merlin slowly entered the palace and climbed the stairs that led to Arthur's old chambers, the ones he used to live when he had still been the Prince.

As he opened the door, the warlock was submerged with memories of the time they had still been young and carefree. During Arthur's reign, things had changed. Being the King was a huge responsibility and it had left little time for being just the man. Merlin too had been busy with his new title as Court Sorcerer. And it had been very rare for the two friends to ever share some spare time together.

And just two years after Arthur's coronation, the war had struck Camelot. And after that, they never saw each other again except for strategy war meeting.

Merlin had missed Arthur so much during these times. And now that he was back in his old room, he felt nostalgic about all the years before Uther's death.

As he walked towards the old bed, the warlock noticed something. It was strange. Everything in the room was covered in dust except from the little wooden casket that laid underneath the bed. Merlin hesitated a moment, not really sure if it was right to look at Arthur's personal items. But, the curiosity got the better of him and he bent to get the little box.

It looked precious, it must have been a gift from a visiting noble Merlin thought. But it felt like it was more than just that. Merlin could not explain why this item looked new and clean in contrast with the rest of the room. As he turned it in his hands he noticed a little lock. He emitted a little groan of disappointment as he realized he would not be able to open it. Maybe it was better this way. After all, it could contain something Arthur never wanted anyone to see. This made him feel sad again. After Merlin had revealed his magic to Arthur and told him about their Destiny, he had believed that they wouldn't keep any secret from each other anymore. But the casket laying on his lap proved this had been wrong. Clearly, his friend had had his own secrets too.

As he took the box in his hands again, it suddenly opened as if it had only needed this one more touch to do so.

The box was empty. Or that's what Merlin thought at first. No, there was something. A yellow flower. He took it in hand to look at it more closely. He immediately recognized it.

It was the Morteus, Arthur had brought back from the caves when Merin had drunk the poison to save his prince all these years ago.

The flower was intact, it looked as if it had just been picked up from the ground.

"This will protect your deepest secret."

The warlock looked around to see who had spoken but no one was there. He looked back at the casket, which was glowing a bit, then back at the flower in his palm.

And then he understood. Arthur had put this flower inside the casket to protect a secret and it had concerned Merlin. The warlock thought back at his friend's last words, the ones he had not been able to say.

Something warm and cold at the same time filled Merlin's heart. Arthur had truly cared for him and now he knew that it had been love the King had felt for his sorcerer. Love that Merlin had returned.

It was so unfair that he had just realized it when the other side of the coin was gone forever.

* * *

**_Wish me luck in the challenge even though I know I wont win XD _**

**_I'm sorry this is so sad but I just felt like wrting it._**

**_I hope you enjoyed, this is dedicated to my great friend Sofia who mainly inspired me for thic ficlet. _**

**_Take care all_**

**_xxx_**


End file.
